As some of you know, I took a short break from social media earlier this month to refresh my mind and also prayerfully discern God’s direction for my business.

I must admit that I have been feeling rather burnt out trying to juggle all the things - somehow I was unrealistically expecting that I would be able to work at 100% when my current capacity, due to being a mom to young ones, is only around 20% right now, not even counting interruptions like sickness and phases and everything else. On top of that, with the worldwide economy struggling, small businesses left right and center closing, I too feel the slow down in the business side.

So I couldn't help but worry and feel helpless - when it feels like “nothing that used to work is working”, “I barely have time to do things”, and “I love my kids but it is tough when it feels like I’m always giving up something - me”. 

Funny enough, during the week I was "off", Jasiel, my 20-month daughter decided to have a sleep regression that involved multiple wakings through the night which ended up with me co-sleeping with her for most of the week. Don't get me wrong - I loved the cuddles and I often would pray over her and our family during those rough nights, but it also did mean that I was physically and mentally exhausted.

I initially had a long list of things I wanted to get done - like cleaning/tidying, playing the piano, maybe do some painting/pottery/calligraphy, gardening among other things. But I realized that it wasn’t the point of the fast. Plus, I didn't have that much time. I hadn't planned to have a break, so I still had to squeeze in some work. I probably had an hour or two that I usually spent in social media instead to intentionally spend time with God.  

So, I decided to focus on one thing, gardening.

I made this playlist, based on the song “Fear is not my future.” by Maverick City Music. I sang along while weeding, cleaning and pruning my garden, and I felt very much like my garden (hahaha) - which was in deep need of some TLC. Half the things were dead or weeds and needed to be removed, the grass was full of moss, some of the growing plants needed to be pruned, and I needed to replace the front plants with new ones. I just started, one corner at a time. Then, I started watering. Probably don't need to explain how the garden reflected how my life was at this stage so much. 

And to be honest, it's always going to be a work in progress, just like life. There's always going to be new weeds, new things to fix, but it is so important to make these changes to grow. 

I'm so grateful that I took the time to do this and I realized how much I needed to also look inwardly to grow and be a better person, wife, mom, businessowner. God met me in those moments, as I imagined Him weeding my garden with me, showering me with so much sun, the gentle breeze that brought me oxygen to breathe, the little hands that helped me water the plants. I also spent some time meeting with people for lunches, had some meaningful conversations and helped me process all the things I'd been feeling. 

Here are a few things I learned from my social media fast: 

• Social media was taking up more time in my day that I needed. 

Social media is part of my marketing strategy and a lot of you have met us through social. But in the week and a bit that I wasn’t on, I suddenly freed up a few hours in the day to do things I didn’t get to do often enough - which included taking care of myself. I thought it was nice to have some mindless entertainment at times, but I realized with what little time I had for myself, I should intentionally use it more. 

• I need to take breaks like these more often. 

In fact, I have decided to take a break like these at least every quarter, and 1-2 days in the week. Sometimes, I just sat down and looked at my garden, listening in silence. It was good to carve out more time for that for me. I had been filling my ears with noise and I couldn’t even hear myself, much less God. The next time I do a break, I’d love for you to join me. I’ll even work on some worksheets for you to trace and reflect on. 

• I need to make some changes in how I approach my business 

I started my biz because I loved calligraphy and I wanted to share it with the world. I’ve always felt that God gave me this gift so that I can help others in their journeys. As I was cleaning up my drawers recently I found my stack of cards and letters that some of you had written to me after taking the Creative Calligraphy Course and tears welled up in my eyes as I read how much calligraphy had transformed your lives. Over the years the business has grown branches in different ways and sometimes I feel that I’ve lost a bit of focus. Especially in the season that I'm currently in motherhood, I don’t have all the capacity to maintain each branch of the business. So, I’m working on pruning and refining certain parts of my business, delegating certain tasks, learning to slow down and pause some things, so that I can continue to share my love for calligraphy to you that you may be blessed by it. 

Perhaps you’re in the season of your life that you also need a pause, or have been feeling full of anxiety and worry about things - I invite you to take a pause on some of your triggers, and to channel the energies of worry to something more encouraging and filling, like calligraphy.

I made the Anxiety to Hope worksheets for myself, really, but know that God’s word is alive and that fear doesn’t have to be our future - He is. We need to cling onto Him who sees us in our valleys, who walks along us in the rocky paths, who carries us up when we can no longer walk, and also takes us up the mountaintops. 

Consider this my invitation for you to slow down and to pause. Take it from me, we all need it! :)

 xoxo, Karla